Körperbau

Bodybuilding
-"Dad, who builds the people?"
-"What?"
-"Well what is the builder's name?"
-"Eeeeeh…"
-"Charles Darwin!"
-"Sometimes the Christians have it easier…"

Prrrrrrrt!!

Prrrrrrrt!!
- "What's that sound?"
- "That's the neighbor farting." 
- "That's the neighbor farting?"
- "Yep"
- "But that's loud!"
- "I know right?!"

Piraten im Bernuda Dreieck

Pirates Of The Bermuda Triangle
- "Weren't my car keys here just a minute ago?!"

- "Where has my rabbit book disappeared to?"

- "Do you know where my phone is?!"

- "No. But I thought we still had wieners?"

Prettige Feestdagen / Merry X-mess

Liebe Freunde, Fans und Fervolger.
Wir verabschieden uns in die Weihnachtsferien und
wünschen Euch toppie Feiertage und ein toppestenst neues Jahr.
2015 war gut und 2016 wird sehr gut.
Wir hoffen Euch alle dann wiederzusehen.

Merry Christmas!
-"Get off the road, impostor!"
-"Swindler!"

Who´s the 5 o´clock Hero?

-"You still have to set the alarm clock."

-"I went and set it in the kitchen. That way it won't wake us up."

Übermorgen geht´s auf die Reise in die Niederlande.
Wir haben eine Verabredung mit Sinterklaas.

Liebe Periode

Dear Period
- "Fuck You."
- "Listen up Period. I had a child. That worked out fine and I'm very grateful for that." 
- "But enough is enough."
- "Goodbye!!"
- "I know a bunch of women who are upset about the fact that their menopause has begun- why don't you visit them.
- BUT I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!

Oblomov / Das Lied von der unruhevollen Jugend

Oblomov / The tune of restless youth

Oblomov Manor, Brandenburg

- Dad, what are you doing?

- Mixing colors to paint the house with.

- I want to too!!

- Dad, what are you doing?

- Collecting firewood for the stove.

- Me too!  Me too!

- Dad, what are you doing?

- Clipping the hedge.

- Me too!  Me too! Me too!

- Well now…  Daddy is going to take a little nap!

- ...

paté-tique

-What in the- is that?! Ew!!

-Me shaved too!

-Oh yeah? 

-Yeah! Had liver pâté beard. 

Krieg und Frieden

War and Peace
- This isn't the first time.
- I'm doing something really mundane.
- And I make a weird connection.
- I'm cutting off the borders of my son's bread.
- And I think: these are the borders of Europe.
- When I throw them away I get a feeling of satisfaction.
- You know?
- Close the garbage bag. In the container. Gone.
- "Waaaaaaaah! I want the borders!!!!"
- "NO you don't!!!"
- "Do." 
- "But now they're gone."
- "Let me check."
- "Aaaaaaaargh!!!"

Bilingual

- Dad says "salt".
- Mom says "zout".
- Boontje says "sugar"!