Krieg und Frieden

War and Peace
- This isn't the first time.
- I'm doing something really mundane.
- And I make a weird connection.
- I'm cutting off the borders of my son's bread.
- And I think: these are the borders of Europe.
- When I throw them away I get a feeling of satisfaction.
- You know?
- Close the garbage bag. In the container. Gone.
- "Waaaaaaaah! I want the borders!!!!"
- "NO you don't!!!"
- "Do." 
- "But now they're gone."
- "Let me check."
- "Aaaaaaaargh!!!"

Bilingual

- Dad says "salt".
- Mom says "zout".
- Boontje says "sugar"!

Urlaubspostkarte

Ferienrätsel

Das grosse Familienjuwelen Ferienrätsel

Der Urlaub beginnt. Der Granada ist vollgepackt und vollgetankt.
Aber wohin fahren wir dieses Jahr? Wir wissen es schon. Du auch?
Unter allen Nachrichten und Kommentaren mit der richtigen Antwort
(hier oder auf Facebook) verlosen wir irgendwas.

Verstecken

ON EVENINGS - I am a parent. Let me explain what that is. I spend a good many evenings at home and less evenings out. It's a common phenomenon: I can count on a few friends that live nearby that are parents too. They are at home too. Sometimes we meet and conspire. We trade secrets and tricks, we drink wine and invent reasons to be laid-back. I drink fast because I don't have a lot of time. Once I would have had the whole night to finish a drink. On my way home (and on my way to bed) the daylight might have shown first signs of taking the night's place. To think that that was my only curfew. My son just barely waits for daybreak to leave his bed in the mornings and as a consequence evenings are now brief installments. Sentences need to be written down and read back later or else forgotten forever. I want to be in bed in time. And I desperately need my son to be in bed in time. So I can quickly do something adult and then  go to bed too.

Hiding
- "Quick, come in. He's not asleep yet."
- "And don't let him see you!!"
- "Mo-o-o-om!!!"
- "Go lie back down.
- <step> <step> <step>
- "Someone visiting? Where?"
- "Go back to bed darling, that was a dream."

One Hit Wonder / Boontjeboy

Immer wieder und stets und ständig werden wir nach einem zweiten Kind gefragt.
Meistens sogar nicht ob, sondern wann.
Wenn wir dann "Nein" oder "Nie" antworten, wird das nicht etwa zur Kenntnis genommen,
sondern noch erstaunt hinterfragt: "Wieso weshalb warum denn nicht?!"
Das nervt.
Und mal ganz im Ernst: es gibt schon genug Menschen auf der Welt.

-We're expecting a second child!

-Why? Didn't the first one work out?

Klopf klopf

Knock Knock
- "NAK NAK"
- "Who's there?"
- "NAK NAK"
- "Nak Nak who?
- "NAK NAK NAK NAK"   
- "Ha ha ha ha."
- "That's not funny."

SisyFord (Keep It Rollin)

- "Look, he's pushing his bicycle!"

- "He's started practicing for that."

Erdnussbutter

Peanut Butter

- "Peanut butteeeeer!"
- "Chocolate Miiiiiilk!"

- "French Frieeeeeeeees!!!"
- "Junk Food Nightmare"

Papa erzählt von früher / When I was yunk

Kroketta und Boontjeboy sind zu Besuch bei Oma und Opa Krentenbollen.
Ich bin zuhause, hopse auf dem Sofa und esse Popcorn,
schlafe durch und aus und stehe spät auf und träume von früher.
Weil sich das Familienleben also gerade in Holland abspielt und nicht hier,
erzähle ich euch eben was von früher.