Frohes Fest / Prettige Kerstdagen

Kleine Forscher

Little Scientist

- "Isn't that cute! I love how little kids experiment."

- "They are like little scientists."

- "Tha-! Tha-! Tha-! Tha-!"

- "And I am his lab-assistant!"

Feeding ä dead horse

    
-"Hey! You! Got some spare change for me? Or a beer?"

-"Can't you see I already have an extra mouth to feed?!"

Weggegangen, Platz vergangen

You Snooze You Lose

Gesundheit!

Bless You!

- "Look! Look!! He's taking his first steps!!!

- "Ah Ah"

- "Aaah-tchoooo!!"

- "Sigh"

Plattenspieler

Sensation! Nettmann unmaskiert und abgeschminkt! Aber ihr habt mich ja sowieso an der Nasenspitze erkannt...
Neulich hatte ich wieder Nachtschicht am wilden Gitarrentresen im Schokoladen.
Und das war so:

Recordplayer

"Hi! Can you play something by Bruce Springsteen?"

"Oh naaah"

"But he's "The Boss""

"Not mine!"

Fitnessprogramm

Workout Plan

- My boyfriend and I have unwittingly joined nature's own workout plan.

- It is comprised of lifting and carrying a small object...
- Our muscles are stimulated by shrewd physical impulses...
- and each week the weight is increased.
- "-and now?"
- "One eye is closed."
- "Rock him a bit more."

Stille

Silence

- All of a sudden the house falls silent...

- No more fussing, not a single stir.

- "But why do I sense a certain disturbing quality to this silence?" 

Oranje boven!

- "Are you feeding him carrots again?!"
- "Um, yeah..."
- "Dammit! I don't want orange breasts again!"

Bekackte Zeiten

SHITTY TIMES

- "How was your day?"

- "Shitty."

- "Oh no! Did he cry a lot?" 
- "No way! He shat a lot! Like five times!!"