Frohes Fest / Prettige Kerstdagen

Kleine Forscher

Little Scientist

- "Isn't that cute! I love how little kids experiment."

- "They are like little scientists."

- "Tha-! Tha-! Tha-! Tha-!"

- "And I am his lab-assistant!"

Feeding ä dead horse

    
-"Hey! You! Got some spare change for me? Or a beer?"

-"Can't you see I already have an extra mouth to feed?!"

Weggegangen, Platz vergangen

You Snooze You Lose

Gesundheit!

Bless You!

- "Look! Look!! He's taking his first steps!!!

- "Ah Ah"

- "Aaah-tchoooo!!"

- "Sigh"

Plattenspieler

Sensation! Nettmann unmaskiert und abgeschminkt! Aber ihr habt mich ja sowieso an der Nasenspitze erkannt...
Neulich hatte ich wieder Nachtschicht am wilden Gitarrentresen im Schokoladen.
Und das war so:

Recordplayer

"Hi! Can you play something by Bruce Springsteen?"

"Oh naaah"

"But he's "The Boss""

"Not mine!"

Fitnessprogramm

Workout Plan

- My boyfriend and I have unwittingly joined nature's own workout plan.

- It is comprised of lifting and carrying a small object...
- Our muscles are stimulated by shrewd physical impulses...
- and each week the weight is increased.
- "-and now?"
- "One eye is closed."
- "Rock him a bit more."

Stille

Silence

- All of a sudden the house falls silent...

- No more fussing, not a single stir.

- "But why do I sense a certain disturbing quality to this silence?" 

Oranje boven!

- "Are you feeding him carrots again?!"
- "Um, yeah..."
- "Dammit! I don't want orange breasts again!"

Bekackte Zeiten

SHITTY TIMES

- "How was your day?"

- "Shitty."

- "Oh no! Did he cry a lot?" 
- "No way! He shat a lot! Like five times!!"

Schiffe versenken

Das ist unsere erste gemeinsame Arbeit innerhalb des Familienjuwelen-Projektes.
Anna hat die Figuren gezeichnet und ich habe dann den Rest dazugebastelt.

An einem letzten schönen Sommertag waren wir wieder an dieser versteckten, verwunschenen Badestelle am Stienitzsee.
Dort wo bis vor etwa 25 Jahren ein großes Strandbad mit Ausflugsrestauration in Betrieb war und jetzt entspannte Ruhe
neben überwucherten Mauernund verfallen Stegen herrscht.
Nur ein paar fahrradelnde Rentner finden den Weg und die Landjugend, die die Off-Road-Fähigkeiten
ihrer tiefergelegten
"Volkswagen" testen will.
Zu unserem Entsetzen nahm aber kurz nach unserer Ankunft ein Partyfloß mit biergeölten, gut gelaunten,
grölenden, jungen Menschen Kurs auf die Badebucht,
drehte dann nach kurzem Stopp aber wieder ab. Weil wir zu langweilig waren.
Es wurde noch ein schöner Nachmittag.

                                                                     










BATTLESHIPS
- "P8?!"
- "Missed it" ... "Too bad"

                                                                     

Saure Milch

SOUR MILK

- "O.M.G. She smells like sour milk."

- "Oh jeez he smells like sour milk."

- "Gawd she smells like - waaaaaait a sec..." 
- "I wonder... could that be baby barf..? Hmmm."

Avontuuren op vakantie (1):

Supersonik

Brunftschrei

CATCALL

- "SMACK!"

- "!"

- "What asshole is making kissing sounds at me?!" 
- "SMACK!"

- "Oh, you are!"

Reibungskoeffizient

APPARENT COEFFICIENT OF FRICTION
"Hey! Are you gonna cuddle me sore?!!"

Wachstumsschub

GROWTH SPURT

- "WAAAAAH" "WEEEEH" "WEEEEH" "WAAAAAH"

- >>Cheep!<< >>Cheeeep!<< >>Cheeep!<< >>Cheeeep!<<

- "What a night!" 
- "Whoah yeah! I bet that was another one of those 'growth spurts' "

- "Yes you must be right, his hair's longer!!"

Aus meiner Nase

OUT THE NOSE

- "Pff - ha ha"

- "Ha ha ha - GNFF -"

- >>SPOUT<<

- "Babe! Babe" Come 'ere!"

- "Out of my nose! The coffee came out of my nose!! I always wanted to experience that!"

 

ZÜSCHO

  









ZYK-OH

- EEEK! EEEK! EEEK!

- EEEK! EEEK! EEEK!

- EEEK!

- "Ah!!! You want me dead?!"

- "What?! What?!"
- EEEK! EEEK! EEEK! EEEK!

Deal

DEAL
- Little Bean and me have a deal.
- ...I get to read the morning paper...
- >>eh eh eh<<
- ...if he gets to utterly destroy it.

Shine on, you crazy Zygentoma!

SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY ZYGENTOMA!
- "I really think we need to clean."
- "Oh yeah?"
- "Our silverfish have gone all black!"

Diesmal mit Gewinnspiel! 
Wer als erster weiß, wo die Titelschrift ihren Ursprung hat, 
bekommt eine Nettmann-Wundertüte zugeschickt. 
Lösungsvorschläge in die Kommentarfelder.

2-Weg-Wärmflasche

2-WAY MULTI-FUNCTIONAL HOT-PAD
- "God, I have the worst stomache ache ever!"
- >>Hooooooooowl!!<<
- >>pat pat<<
- "What does he have!?"
- "The poor baby. Terrible belly aches!!"
- >>Muffle<<
- "Haw!"

Quieek

 
SQUEAK
- "Exactly why did we ever buy this baby oil?"
- "Peeep?"
- "I've rubbed him all over with it at least a dozen times..."
- "Squeeeall!!"
- "...yet..."
- "EE"
- "EE"
- "He still sounds like a rusty door hinge!"
- "Krrrr"
- "Squeak"

Eat up the traffic jam

EAT UP THE TRAFFIC JAM
- "AHUU! AHUU! AHUU!"
- "Oh! Fire truck! I have to pull off the road..."
- "AHUU! AHUU!"
- "Ha ha ha"

Niemals alt werden

NEVER GROW OLD
- "I'm sorry."
- "I forgot to wind up the watch..."
- "...now we will never grow old..."

Earl Grey

 
Earl Grey
- "I am the Eggman!"
- "You are the Eggman!"
- "HOO!
- "HOO!"
- "I am the walrus!"
- "GOO GOO GOO GOO GJOOB"
- "...he isn't paying us any attention?!!"
- The most interesting thing in the life of a three-month-old baby: Berlin grey daybreak.

Seufz

 
HUNGER SIGH
- >>AU<<
- "Huh?"
- "My stomache hurts. I'm hungry."
- >>GAWK!<<
- "SIGH!"
- "This crazy woman! Does she want to kill us and eat us?!"
- "Really! In this day and age!!"

Poetry Chess

Falschrum

THE WRONG END
- >>POOT<<
- "Did you hear that?"
- "No. What?"
- "Oh, Nothing."
- "Tell me! What?"
- "No nothing, really."
- "Ah. Lemme guess... You breathed out 'the wrong end'. "
- "Bingo."

Serve and Destroy

SERVE AND DESTROY
- >>CRASH!<<
- >>Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down<<
- "AAAHA! I get it! First you attract the silverfish, and then they slit their wrists..."

Hundeaugen

PUPPY EYES
- "Quit puppy-eyeing me! I can't concentrate on what I'm reading!"
- "There - I'll turn off the light, Ha! Now I can't see you."
- "...but now I can't read - MA-A-A-AN!"
- >>snicker snicker<<

Männersachen

MANLY THINGS
- When you celebrate New Year's by eating Hot Pot...
- A Chinese fondue, filled to the brim with chili peppers...
- it's only natural that the next morning, the man in the house...
- ...drinks the remaining brew..
" ...if you're man enough!!"